Hare Krisna dear Maharaja,
Please accept my respectful obeisances,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Thanks for your answer. Yes, i told You that my spiritual master left but You get lot of letters daily and i was inattentive and didn't send You the antecedents so sorry for that :(
Now i left here our last post it's easier to follow.
Maharaja, i understand siksa is more important than diksa and i respectful accept Your opinion but since i don't have diksa guru You are my only shelter.
HpS - ASA - Jaya... Who was your Diksa guru??? He left his post??? In that case there can be anothe ceremony to fix the relation. It is very individual and real thing is to get this clear understanding of things. Then we can be an unstoppeable team, spreading Lord Caitanya's message.
I joined in 1993, got first Initiation 1995 and second 1998. My spiritual master was Balabhadra Prabhu (formerly Bhakti Balabh Puri Goswami). He was always very personal with everybody and dealt with the devotees a lot and after a time He neglected his sadhana and became weak and He started to make mistakes. He is still a devotee because joined Gaudiya Math and got sannyas again from Paramadvaiti Swami. I pray for Him but i don't follow Him.
You wrote me so many times it's not necessary to get initiation that now i think i understood to follow Your instructions is more important than reinitiaton.
And i feel i'm not good enough to get initiation. I like You so much and i don't want to cause You problem.
After Srila Prabhupada You are the most important person to me in Iskcon.
I feel You care about me but i would like to know i'm your diciple (siksa). You said i can meditate on You when i chant gayatri mantra so i do it, but You didn't say i can chant your pranam mantra, therefore i stopped doing it. It's strange when i offer bhoga i don't offer through You, and i don't call You Guru Maharaja. I miss these things but i don't want to speculate. Or just have to do it? I don't know...
I'm sure Krisna tests my persistence but please tell what shall i do in this situation!
You said few letter before sometimes better to stay in our yatra and if there are problems we try to solve those and make better the community.
So we are still here in Hungary and try to do something. I'm not qualified but nowadays more and more mataji come and ask for help and guidance from me and i feel it a privilige and maybe Krsna has a plan with us here...it will turn out.
HpS - ASA --- Jaya... What is your situation. From whom you received Mantra? Who was your Diksa guru.... You may have told us be we are dull headed and it is full of windy spaces!!
My situation is: i'm the number one nobody in our yatra but i would like to be the servant of the servant.
I live outside of the temple with my husband and we try to maintain ourselves. I learnt to sew and bought an embroidery machine so i would like to start a small business now. My husband can work from home also, He writes business plans and essays about financial topics. We live close to the temple and take part on Mangala Arti everyday and i preach and distribute books once a week.
I know You are very busy always so i don't want to bother You with my letters. I'm happy if You write DTC and answer to the devotees because i always learn so many things from Your answers. I got everything from You what i need to make progress in spiritual life i just have to realize those.
I hope we can meet if You will be here in Europe next year.
Thanks for Your association and kindness.
Your servant,
Sri Radhe dd
HpS - ASA - Jaya! Now things are so much more clear in our stupid brain. So, if you want to get re-initiated we could take that service. Some devotees want it some don't. We don't feel it is so necessary if the Diksa guru was properly representing Srila Prabhupada at the time of initiation. Beyond the super important instruction of following our ISKCON vows and keeping full morning and evening program, we would certainly hope that you can send us news of your situation, Yatra, your Sankirtan with devotees and out in the public! Thank you very, very much.
For Europe, it is getting fixed. We will be in Radha-desa from February 6-16th, then from April 30th to May 27th.
Hare !!!
