Hare Krishna Gurudev!!!
Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada!!
I have had a very incredible past week or so. I have been wallowing in my own self loathing, very immature.
ASA - Monkey / Piggy - Oink! Oink! AGTSP!
But since the last time we spoke, I have come to realize how important it is to stick through the tough times. I was seriously doubting myself! But since I stuck it out, a crazy seriese of events has taken place where I have had a few strong realizations, and I have felt something sincerely divine! It was completely neccessary for me to experience this to mature. All of my deepest darkest secrets, offenses, mistakes have just been spilled all into the open. And because of it, I am doing so much better. I was able to sincerely take shelter of the holy name. However, because all of my gross mistakes have come into the open, I have broken some relationships with good devotees. I have stronger faith in how Krishna is guiding my life. I am sorry for being so flip floppy with my attitude. I know I will have my ups and downs, but I also know for certain that I want to STAY on my path in Krishna Consciousness. I don't really want to leave the temple, I just have little to no faith in myself at times. But I do have faith in Krishna, And with every speedbump I seem to have, that faith seems to get a bit stronger. I appreciate so much your patience with me. I'm sure it must be running thin by now.
ASA - Oink! Oinnk! Whoop! Whoop! We have a hard time criticizing anybody else. When we consider how much sludge we have put Srila Prabhupada through to keep with us, how can we be critical of anybody else.
I feel completely different from the last time I wrote. I am feeling so happy and blessed to be where I am in Krishna's service. I am eager to have your association in Boise soon! I am having trouble figuring out how to get there and back. And I know for sure I can't stay for Janmastami, I have to be in Utah to contribute to the Kirtan. But still, I have faith that Krishna will arrange whatever he wants!
Your worthless servant,
Bhakta Adrian
HpS - AGTSP Seems nice... It's fact, where else are we going to get such a common sense situaction. The Temple is for b'cari training. We should get a little bit of religious training, how to pray effectively, and how to live a simple civilized life - celibate, single or with children and wife.
But after that training unless we are Brahmanas we move out and serve in the community!