Hare Krsna, Gurudev
PAMHO
AGTSP
AGTYOU
How are you, Gurudev? I'm still alive, by your mercy. Just fluttering for a while longer in this world.
By your mercy, and Srila Prabhupada's, I remain in the purification process (anartha nivritti). I think it could take me millions of lifetimes more (I'm like a very black coal, as Srila Prabhupada says), but the good thing is that by Krishna's grace, in one way or another, I'm staying alive, trying to become Krishna conscious.
Completing 16 rounds and 4 principles. Very weak morning program. I lost the "shakti" I had from your association ("borrowed feathers") and returned to mediocrity and instability in my sadhana schedule. I go to bed late and wake up late. My mind tells me that it's very important to you that your disciples get up at 4 a.m. every day... and I'm "massaging" myself. It's a daily struggle.
HpS - Then, agtSP, you will win.
I spend all day reading and trying to preach. Distributing books. Trying to recruit people to Srila Prabhupada's boat. These efforts don't have much effect because of my lack of purity.
HpS - ... and because you are trying to advise people in the prison to not steal?
But I keep going and going and going... what else can I do? I do it for my survival... If I don't read, preach, distribute books, etc., I fall into a "meaningless" life and wish to disappear into Brahman (hahaha).
ASA - Yes, after you see the material nature for what it is, then no job here seems useful. Painted fruits do not satisfy hunger. Preach and if we die, o.k. that is Krsna's desire.
Die and go to heaven??
The other day I heard a class from Srila Prabhupada, who said that only the grhastha has the motivation to earn money and progress materially... I felt very connected to those sayings... I don't feel any motivation for economic growth (artha), but I still have a lot of kama...
I only think about my old age and my material survival, even though I know that Krishna provides for everyone (eko bahunam yo vidadhati kaman).
I try to stay motivated with small projects in Krishna consciousness, so that my mind survives and I don't wish for the soul to leave the body.
The book distribution is going well. June and July were fully occupied.
Well, Gurudev, I wish you a happy Balarama Purnima, Janmastami, Srila Prabhupada's Vyasa Puja, and Radhastami.
I love you so, so much. Thank you for appearing in my life.
You are my window into the possibility of becoming fully Krsna conscious and spiritually happy. I want to follow in your footsteps. Give me your mercy (I know you're giving it to me...)
Haribol!!!
Deva Vrata das
HpS - Do not mistake the mailman for the correspondent! 🙂 We are doing a little, but the UruKrama, big worker is Srila Prabhupada, Panch tattva and Radha Krsna, no?
Distribute Book
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Hare Krsna Gurudev
PAMHO
AGTSP
AGTYOU
¿Cómo estás Gurudev? yo sigo vivo, por tu misericordia. Aleteando un tiempo un más en este mundo.
Por tu misericordia, y la de Srila Prabhupada, me mantengo en el proceso de purificación (anartha nivritti). Creo que puede llevarme millones de vidas más (soy como un carbón muy negro, como dice Srila Prabhupada), pero lo bueno es que por la gracia de Krishna de una manera u otra me mantengo vivo tratando de volverme consciente de Krsna.
Cumpliendo 16 rondas y 4 principios. Programa matutino muy flojo. Perdí el "shakti" que tenía por tu asociación ("plumas prestadas") y volví a una mediocridad e inestabilidad en los horarios de sadhana. Me acuesto tarde y me levanto tarde. Mi mente me predica que para ti es muy importante que tus discípulos se levanten todos los días 4am... y me "maseo" a mí mismo. Es una lucha diaria.
Me mantengo todo el día leyendo y tratado de predicar. Distribuyendo libros. Tratando de sumar gente al barco de Srila Prabhupada. Son esfuerzos que no causan mucho efecto por mi falta de pureza. Pero sigo y sigo y sigo... ¿qué otra cosa puedo hacer? Lo hago por mi supervivencia... Si no leo, predico, distribuyo libros, etc... caigo en un "sin sentido" de la vida y deseo desaparecer en el brahman (jajaja)
El otro día escuche una clase de Srila Prabhupada, que solo el grhastha tiene motivación para ganar dinero y progresar materialmente... Me sentí muy reflejado con esos dichos... No siento motivación alguna para el crecimiento económico (artha) pero todavía tengo mucho kama...
Solo pienso en mi vejez y mi supervivencia material, aunque sé que Krsna mantiene a todo el mundo (eko bahunam yo vidadhati kaman)
Trato de mantenerme motivado con pequeños proyectos en conciencia de Krishna, para que me mi mente sobreviva y no desee que el alma abandone el cuerpo.
La distribución de libros va bien. Junio y julio estuve plenamente ocupado.
Bueno Gurudev, te deseo un feliz Balarama purnima, Janmastami, Vyasa puja de Srila Prabhupada y Radhastami.
Te quiero mucho, mucho. Gracias por aparecer en mi vida.
Eres mi ventana de que se puede lograr volverse plenamente consciente de Krsna y feliz espiritualmente. Quiero seguir tus pasos. Dame tu misericordia (sé que me la estás dando...)
Haribol!!!
Deva Vrata das
ASA - Nehabikramo nasho si... on this path (BG 2.30+) there is no loss or diminuation, and a little progress saves one from the greatest fear, again we become dog (with fleas in hair (worms in stomach and heart (violent people in the neighborhood)).
