Hare Krsna Guru Maharaj,
Please accept our most humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
vancha-kalpatarubhyash cha
kripa-sindhubhya eva cha
patitanam pavanebhyo
vaishnavebhyo namo namaha
Today was the Rathayatra, 4th of July parade [in Boise, Idaho]!!
Amidst devotee family, your presence at many festivals was remembered.
HpS/ASA - We built the first Boise Rathayatra cart along with Lokannatha Das et al.!
We were not sure how we would be able to travel an hour from the new ashram in Idaho City with deities and pull the smaller Ratha.
Krsna made arrangements and the cart was waiting.
Three sets of personal small Jaganatha family deities were in the Ratha and kids did the arati with full heart.
Jahnavi pulled the cart with her ksatriya spirit.
The congregation and community were able to be engaged and happy. The spiritual world did open up for a moment where we felt connected to everyone’s sincere efforts and paratmatmas.
The other night we watched the peacock special: Krishnas, Gurus, Karma etc. that featured Malati Prabhu, Bhagavan Prabhu, and other early Srila Prabhupada disciples discussing New Vrindavan and former Kirtananda Maharaj.
I think it’s hard to be a devotee like Malati Prabhu and you, Gurudev because you have stayed in ISKCON despite everything and seen so much.
I want to express more but I’m fearful. I think in my situation I am following the NOI principal of keeping my general distance (because I know I am at least an aspiring kanishta) so I do not not affect others.
I am finding that having a few sincere relationships with devotees and congregation mothers really is enough association.
I am working on how I associate and how I can contribute more with my association.
In small communities it’s hard to not feel very alone.
I remember when you advised your disciple that it is hard to be brahmanical and be in management.
I was candid with management last fall about disrespect I noticed that was going on towards the Vaishnavas.
Now I am pushed out and ignored and told not to approach them without a mediator (not by all management but a few individuals).
The tension is hard.
I do feel very emotional to the point of feeling physically sick when I go to the temple.
Would you suggest asking a mediator to work through these kind of issues Gurudev? I can tell my ego just wants to ignore and forget.
HpS - Thank you for this nice letter. Babies fall on their... backsides... so many times when they are beginning to walk, but they get up again and try to do it. It is so much greater to walk than crawl.
- Gradually you learn how to walk and only fall down once every few months, rather than every few paces.
- Maybe we are jerks and do deserve the chastisement we get from institutional managers and we need to thank Krsna for this opportunity to improve.
- Maybe they are just projecting their fears and anger on us and we need to avoid their attacts and try to help them.
- Maybe they were try to praise us and we just misunderstood their criticism.
When in doubt the Holy Names will sort it out!
Chant and talk with devotees close to the situation?
Thank you so much for tolerating the general way I am expressing the issue and my feelings.
Janardhan Swami said recently that our kids are our deities. Its hard to financially get by and do a lot of service right now. I am still chanting my rounds, and listening or reading/discussing scriptures with the kids. We’ve been focusing on listening to SB 9th canto Rama Lila pastimes and Lord Caitanya’s childhood pastimes the last 6 months. We will start the 10th canto and a unit on Krsna this summer. We seek your blessings with this endeavor because our body doesn’t seem to have a lot of energy to give these days. But preaching helps inspire us to do our Sadhana.
We have completed 2 project/art/drama based units on these pastimes with a general attendance of 6-10 kids in person and online. I try to stay absorbed in repeating these pastimes until I can appreciate how valuable and jewel like these Lilas are. Sometimes listening and re-listening seems to help us reflect on how we can qualify ourself to truly appreciate what is being given to us.
HpS - 👍
Such powerful medicine!
Murari Prabhu is busy tilling the land because it is a lot of river rock, and sand but he has managed to create garden areas despite desert terrain. Prabhu is chanting/doing puja and taking care of the kids while I work. I am full time taking care of the new teen in the house as well.
I’ve noticed that keeping a connection through whatever means possible with him had become an important service.
They need a lot of emotional shelter in such a confusing developmental stage.
When your well wishing gift and instruction was received 3 months ago we fully took shelter of your blessing and really tried to meditate on it.
Thank you so much Gurudev and please forgive us for not writing sooner. Moving with 6 people and acclimating to this little mountain town/forest and trying to build up our Sadhana and strength again was a lot.
Your gift made us feel like you believed in us and our ability to stay connected to Krsna.
We’ve tried our best to follow your instruction of writing about Krsna. If it’s ok, we would like to send you some disjointed prose short stories in a part two sequel to this letter.
HpS/ASA - 🐵 👍 👍
Always running behind you Gurudev eager to qualify ourself to serve you and Srila Prabhupada.
Tava pache pache!!
Your lowly servant,
Kamagayatri dd
