Hare Krishna, Beloved Gurudeva,
Please accept my humble obeisances,
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada,
ASA/HpS - Jaya!
Here we are in an Ecovillage in Brazil, studying Ayurveda.
Is it worth it? We don't know!!
These last two months were very tough!! It was difficult for me to chant my rounds. Although many times I woke up at 4 am, my mind was wandering everywhere, sometimes it took half an hour to chant one round.
ASA 😲
Some days I can finish 16 rounds, some days not.
I feel panic, depression, like Arjuna in BG 6.38. I can die at any moment and what did I do with my life?
I can not yet understand what is the cause of it!
Whether it is:
- an emotional issue,
- family attachment,
- too much entanglement in administrative affairs,
- so many suffering stories at work on a daily basis,
- aparadhas,
- lack of sincerity or surrender,
- pride,
- little bit of everything?
Not much is going on at Sri Govardhan. Although we are advancing in the administrative field, spiritual programs are scarce. Only the morning program and some visits of Senior Vaisnavas.
Material life is ok, family, work, health.
Yesterday I read SB canto 4 chapters 25 to 29, preaching of Narada Muni to king Pracinabarhisat and the allegory of Puranjana. So I can remember the situation I am in.
One thing is sure, that my faith in Srila Prabhupada and Iskcon is unchanged, and I feel gratitude for the friendship of devotees.
I see yourself as a great example, a case of success, of course Srila Prabhupada is the Gold Standard of success.
Dedicated your life to your Guru-maharaja, developed a strong and steady sadhana, did tons of service, helped a lot of people and now you are retiring to focus on your inner bhajana.
HpS - It is bizarre! We are in the closet, material world, and we think that returning to the rest of the house, patio, park, forest, with the rest of the people for Krsna's week of festivities for His birthday party is going "inside". Is funny, no?
I already purchased DTC 1 and 2 from vimeo (waiting for 3 y 4), and distributed 10 TPP Spanish edition. One to H. H. Dhanvantari Swami. He was very impressed by the book. He wants to speak with you to translate it in Portuguese.
HpS - We have not heard from him. Of course, he can do it. It is designed for Bhakti-vaibhava level of diploma studies.
In this letter https://monkeywarrior.com/detail/13631/ you told me: “Hopefully we are at least 77% clear pathway to Srila Prabhupada and we certainly beg you to find other ways to reach him also Eg. Books, Other ISKCON devotees”.
Thank you so much for this instruction, I feel very much protected and cared for by you. I’m feeling very inspired by these devotees, Bhakti Dhira Damodar Swami, Navina Nirada Prabhu, S. B. Keshava Swami from Bhaktivedanta manor and Aravinda Prabhu. I listen to their lectures. I feel like it is the next wave in iskcon. So much power in their preaching, it gives me huge hope!!
In my next letter I will tell you about our projects, and share some thoughts about the GBC. But nothing is worth it, if I can not chant good rounds, so now I want to ask you for help and some advice, how can I improve my japa? (probably you will say by chanting japa), how can I pacify my mind while I’m chanting?
Thank you Gurudeva, you showed me that this process is first class spiritual science.
I’m sorry that I’m more a burden than a help,
Endeavoring to follow your example,
A stubborn fool conditioned soul,
Nikunja bihari das.
HpS//ASA - Nice news in many ways. We hope many other Bloggies make comments on your ideas.
We have Karma, Vasanas, Individual archetypes. They kick-in in certain situations, in certain arrangements of the planets.
We feel life and low, agitated or peaceful mind, even during different parts of the day.
Every morning from 1.00-5.30AM I am a saint, then by 6PM I start to turn into a demo. [Civilized Demon].
I have developed certain techniques, systems to control our mind after many years of working on it.
You will develop yours also.
There is just no doubt about. Every time you take a deep breath and chant three, four, five.. mantras you have made eternal progress.
Tell us all some of the techniques you use now?