Hare Krishna Maharaja, please kindly accept my most humble obeisances; all glories to his divine grace, Srila Prabhupada, our founder acharya; all glories to your good self, his surrendered disciple and beacon of hope for fools like myself.
HpS - AgtSP!!!
Hare Krsna!!!!!!!!
This year marks 40 years of brahminical engagement, when I first became a full time pujari, after years of sweeping and mopping Krishna's floors and washing Krishna's pots and pans. Finally I had some visibly respectable status. Back in those days as a brand new pujari there were times when I would have as much as half of my rounds done by 4:30. And on some rare mornings, I was even finished with all my rounds before Mangala arotika. I was really on fire back then, and I thought to myself "This is the story of the rest of my life!"
Little did I know then how just wrong I would be on this score. Whilst my sadhana does still exist and sustain me, it is far removed from the standard that I had so enthusiastically embraced in those younger years.
ASA - "No fanatic like a convert", Mormon phrase. 🙂🙂🙂
Still, I am most grateful for those early years of enthusiasm, as ephemeral as they may have been. I can honestly say that I would be totally lost today without those early years of devotional service.
And yet the spirit of true humility has managed to escape me, in spite of my years of service and reflections as a devotee. Even whilst I am constantly being smashed by the material energy, my sense of false pride and envy prevails in my daily living. I struggle with trying to understand just "What is there in me that obliges me to be so proud and so envious? What can I possibly stand to gain by such behavior?"
My only thoughts are that it is due to my envy of Krishna being the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
As I undersgtand it, this is the 'original sin' so to speak that landed each of us in this material world in the first place. It is no wonder that Krishna demands that we surrender. This mood of surrender is a very humbling experience by its very nature, and it is not a popular term in today's world, as it imples defeat, failure, loser. How can I submit myself to such thoughts? How can there be any humility in the heart of an envious rascal? And here I am, trying to make a show of being some kind of a devotee with years of devotional service under my belt.
It's a perfect recipe for requiring another birth.
I can understand better now how important this mood of humility is for our chanting of the holy names, for taking shelter of devotees and particularly for taking shelter of the spiritual master. We accept these principles wholeheartedly in principle because we want to believe that such ideals are real, that they are absolutely necessary, and that they can be had by any and all sincere devotees. But to realize them for their true worth and value, and then to exemplify them in our character is another matter entirely.
I need to close here, so as not to embarrass myself further. Please kindly bless our household so that we may continue with our devotional service, meager as they may be.
Your lowly servant,
Bbd
HpS - Hare Krsna. We are in New Govardhana, couple miles from Allende, Mexico.
Many devotees here. Krsna is here.
Have to surrender our pride of our material abilities, then we have to surrender our pride of respectability and join an out right thief! Butter, clothes etc!
He is always looking for mischief.
Jayananda Das said that humility means not acting artificially big OR artificially small.
Humility means to access our potency and do something within our means!
Next letter.