Dear Maharaj,

PAMHO AGTSP!

Thank you Maharaj. I will endeavor to avoid biting interactions.

Something amazing happened yesterday, read a very old chat with my husband. I saw how harsh my response was to his shortcomings. I was trained for 25 yrs to be with a very different kind of man. Felt like a ballerina paired with a dancer still training. I felt constant stress over his shortcomings. My shocked interactions with him were neither because he’s bad or I was bad. But it definitely took a long time to readjust my expectations (and now second shock, being thrown away so heartlessly). Today I’d never respond that way because I’ve accepted it’s reality and especially seeing how damaging it felt to him to feel inadequate. I apologized again to him yesterday. He accepted but still feels ‘he’s not right for me, can’t make me happy’. Anyhow, let’s see where Krsna leads us. As soon as I imagine him and I being together and the world falls silent, I feel this veil of insecurity or uneasiness due to his lack of commitment spiritually.

Bhrigu Naadi this year told me if my husband doesn’t return by Diwali, not to hang on. Someone new will come (they came and left also). And Agastya Naadi from 10 yrs ago told me there will be seperation, then by mercy of guru and Krsna, you will overcome, you have to change your attitude and then there will be no marital problems.

Excited to see what Krsna has in mind for us 🙏. In some ways we want new person because the relationship will feel more natural. But then we feel duty bound to our husband, in a way like can’t leave him and go enjoy a nice life.

I also have a few questions:

1) what service should I engage this life in?

2) I feel a desire to do BS, BV etc study NOD under your direction. Is this something should pursue? Are there any lecture recordings for these courses?

Thank you so much for this shelter. It’s so much more natural. So much empowerment 🙏, strength. I can’t express enough gratitude.

your servant,

Yajnaseni DD

HpS-ASA

AgtSP!!!

Paoho.

Take second initiation.

If you don't, get some nice conversations with your brother.

🙂