Dearest Maharaj,

PAMHO AGTSP!

Yes Maharaj, I really do want initiation from you, but I feel so fallen. I still cannot wake up early. A large part of that has to do with my husband staying awake till 3am. Sometimes I feel weighed down by responsibility for our spiritual advancement. At several sleepless occasions I've tried communicating to him gently that I can't sleep with someone awake in the house. He says he can't do anything about it, it's my problem, and i should just go to sleep and stop harassing him.

Maharaj, is this what you mean by not being able to do Hari kirtan. I feel I can never wake-up early like this. I feel contaminated in this marriage. It's so hard for me to give up this feeling of despair. I find my mind frightened that our children will be more difficult because of our weak sadhana. Sometimes I wonder why Krsna gave me this marriage. I'm not very good at helping him. And my own sadhana remains weak.

Maharaj, question in my heart, charging students to teach or perform or shoot, is that incorrect?

HpS - Thank you for your letter!!!! Thinking of you often. Our mail clerks are not very expert in handling the mail, so when there is Priority Code from the Kapi Dhvaja that gets their attention.

Of course, Prahlada Maharaja was able to take a quick nap when they were throwing him off cliffs, or trampling under elephants, so that is the ideal, and we should admit that there is room for us to improve things from our side, but on the other hand, Prabhupada directly said that we cannot imitate these actions.

So, I don't know what to say.

Try to make some adjustment, but, without violence, we have to chant our rounds and follow the principles.

I can't understand the last question. You want your dance students to charge their stun guns and shoot people.

Respects to the Varuna! Please, tell him that we are always happy to hear in the Blog his experiences about life in the real world, and modern India.

Your aspiring servant,

Yajnaseni