Dear Maharaja

Hare Krsna! I have not written to you for more than three months! These have been very difficult times for me. I am very sorry for my ingratitude to you. This blog is a great blessing.

HpS ASA ---- Hmmm.... Materially rough times are a product of not being in Krsna consciousness. As soon as we have the perspective of Arjuna after hearing the BG we have no material problems. 😐 Of course, being KC, using the Blog if it is really a good resource, is a great science. May take a few years (lifetimes) to learn it,,, but every step is eternal, and every level is better than the last!!

I hope you are well. May you no longer have allergies and may your body allow you to continue serving Srila Prabhupada and Krsna.

HpS - Allergys have gone. Pollen is gone. Now we have bitter cold, snow. 😎

As for myself, a lot has happened to me internally. Quarantine is already declining here in Santiago and everything is returning to "normal." However, my heart is sad, Maharaja. I have felt that I have lost enthusiasm in the spiritual life, I feel stagnant.

HpS - Think about why. You can always find your enthusiasm in your intelligence.

My work has taken my life, almost completely. I have had many responsibilities and I have not been able to focus 100% on what really matters to me. I try to do my best, but I don't think it's enough; that Krsna is not pleased with me, I cannot advance, and perhaps I never will.

HpS - It is difficult not advance because KC works. It relieves suffering. Do you want to suffer??? So, you will advance. but...... willit be

s

l

o

w

or fast. Our participation helps, required!

I try to stay firm in my sadhana; I chant my 16+ rounds, I get up early to share mangala arati with you and the devotees, I raise my deities, I serve them their breakfast, I offer them flowers, I sowed 5 Tulasi seeds that sprouted and I adore them every day, but I feel that it is not enough.

HpS - Golly ! Gosh! We are not Rupa Goswami. That is very nice. Have fun with Krsna. Do more but because KRSNA likes it. He is not a Sadist. He likes you, always has and always will. He wants to have fun with you and your friends.

I have not been able to maintain my reading habit (so sad to me!), the mental fatigue that has caused me to work so intensely, prevents me. Many times I come home with a severe headache. My eating habits have also been affected, but by the blessing of Krsna and the Vaisnavas, I have continued to get up early and keep my morning sadhana (without difficulty, thank God!).

But, how can I get closer to Krsna and not feel downcast by this conditioned life? This world full of suffering is very intense, Maharaja. I feel collapsed, really.

There is something that happened that I do not know how to face, could you guide me? (I hope not to extend the letter too much)...

The whole subject related to animals is very sensitive to me. The abuses that men/women commit towards them hurt me tremendously, and I try, within my passivity, to help people to see them as beings who have the same right as ours to live in peace.

It turns out that my boyfriend and his family had a beautiful and adorable dog, Achilles, a Rottweiler. A well misunderstood breed, since they are always treated as aggressive.

Sometimes he behaved very badly because he was territorial, and he attacked dogs and left them on the brink of death. They tied him up as punishment under the sun (poor thing), and he always stayed calm accepting his reality.

But one day, Achilles started to get a little more elusive around people, and he started to head them away and jump.

At that moment, my boyfriend's family, fearing that he might actually attack someone, decided that he was dangerous and they killed him (lethal injection), without even analyzing other possible solutions (so many more!).

My feeling may be very stupid, Maharaja, but it is difficult for me not to feel sorry, helpless and anger in the face of this matter.

I question so many things! I am having a hard time feeling compassion for the people who made that deliberate decision, because there were other options that they did not evaluate and took the easiest and cruellest path of all.

How can I not feel angry in the face of these injustices? How can I not feel hurt in the face of this? I understand that it is the product of my attachments or of maya, but what would I do without my sensitivity? Doesn't that make me more 'human'? Should I feel nothing? Would that mean that I am moving towards Krsna?

How to deal with unfair and cruel people? How to accept that act? They generate too much abersion in me and I don't want to share with them again. How to do it after having killed an innocent being?

Excuse all the questions. They may be unnecessary and very trivial. I hope that you and Krsna can help me to better understand this situation and to act in the best possible way.

Thank you very much for always being present. You are a gift from heaven. Your constant association keeps me going. And the hope of being able to advance in the process is still present, sometimes with more force and sometimes with less force.

I hope I can stay in touch more through the blog. I can no longer enter the FMP daily (so sad!); Here in Chile it's 7.30am when the program starts, and at that time I have to get ready to go to work.

Have a very good day, Maharaja. I hope my letter didn't bore you so much. (I used google translate and a little of my knowledge in english. Sorry for my mistakes on grammar)

Your eternal almost-servant

Bh. Nicole Silva.

HpS - "‘śraddhā’-śabde – viśvāsa kahe sudṛḍha niścaya

kṛṣṇe bhakti kaile sarva-karma kṛta haya" find this in NOI 5. Main thing is getting your rounds done. Then you will be the most efficient instrument is reducing the suffering in this world. Krsna is the Supreme Friend. Not you and me.... When we become instruments of Krsna, like Arjuna, we can fight with so, so, many problems, bad ideas, and win.

For specific situations, talk with a lot of people in volved in the situation and then you can see practically the KC participation you can make.

Maybe the dog was someone who did the same thing to dog in their last lifetime.. Hmmm. Focus on nice rounds!!!!!!!