Hare Krishna, Gurudeva,

Please accept our most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to you. I am looking at the Anvaya that my father did, and I made a few changes to the first verse. If it is possible for you to kindly give us some feedback, that would be very helpful for us to finish revising the rest of the verses.

NOI 1

vāco vegaṁ manasaḥ krodha-vegaṁ

jihvā-vegam udaropastha-vegam

etān vegān yo viṣaheta dhīraḥ

sarvām apīmāṁ pṛthivīṁ sa śiṣyāt

Synonyms

vācaḥ — of speech; vegam — urge; manasaḥ — of the mind; krodha — of anger; vegam — urge; jihvā — of the tongue; vegam — urge; udara-upastha — of the belly and genitals; vegam — urge; etān — these; vegān — urges; yaḥ — whoever; viṣaheta — can tolerate; dhīraḥ — sober; sarvām — all; api — certainly; imām — this; pṛthivīm — world; saḥ — that personality; śiṣyāt — can make disciples.

Translation

A sober person who can tolerate the urge to speak, the mind’s demands, the actions of anger and the urges of the tongue, belly and genitals is qualified to make disciples all over the world.

English Word-Order

saḥ — A

dhīraḥ - sober person

yaḥ - who

viṣaheta - can control

etān — the

vegān — urges 

jihvā - vegam -  of the tongue,

manasaḥ - mind,

udara-upastha-vegam -  belly, genitals, 

vācaḥ vegam - speech,

krodha- vegam – [and] anger,

śiṣyāt - can [ api — certainly] make disciples

sarvām — all around

imām — this

pṛthivīm — world

Note: In some places we used English articles in place of Sanskrit pronouns for better readability (I learned that this is an acceptable practice in translation in my Sanskrit classes). We also omitted the translation of “vegam” after each urge, and slightly changed the order of the urges so that the sentence remains simple. Please let us know if a similar emphasis on English readability is acceptable for the rest of the verses Gurudeva. Thank you very much for tolerating us.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Your insignificant servants,

Srinivasacarya Dasa and Sugopi Radha Devi Dasi

HpS - ASA -- It looks super. Do you know what is the biggest room in the world?

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The room for self improvement. 🙂

Or as one French poet said, "No one ever finished a poem. They just stopped working on it". So this format seem fine for this edition of TPP-NOI, a very satisfying offering to Srila Prabhupada and the previous Acharyas! We will change the world!