Hare Krishna Gurudeva
Please accept my humble obeisances
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada!
I disappeared for a while and I did not write you since February when I was traveling. I remember I said that my next letter would be reflections about my trip. However, these reflections took longer. Some plans I had were turned upside down due to the pandemic situation and I naturally fell into frustration. So I had to work internally before writing you.
HpS - O.K. but this is also a hospital, not just a theater!! 🙂 !
In these last months, my focus was introspection. Why do I act like this? Why do I feel this emotion? For example, in the past I used to be very shy. Why? Am I really shy? Now, I realized that's not a real characteristic of me. And many other questions. At university, I took an anthropology course and the part of existentialism really caught my attention. I consider that, before delving into a spiritual and more transcendental knowledge, one must work with the gross and psychic aspects. If you don't know you, how is your nature, why do you have those thoughts or feelings... so, you won't be able to know Krishna or perform spiritual practices with true significance.
HpS - This process is sublime also! https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sublime
That means that Lord Chaitanya tastes hogs, dogs, camels and asses and to see the Rasa-lila!!!! Wow! From the most gross to the most subtle. Beyond the purified mind of a Buddha even! Of course, with that light house in mind, like a free vacation for one week in Hawaii, then we have to go back and work on the gross level, psychological level, EXACTLY as you are desciribing, but remembering the high goal we are seeking, and if we can engage in devotional service, eg. chanting our rounds without introspection, that is better than not chanting and trying to develop introspection (Yoga), but chanting DEVELOPING an introspective mood is the best.
Is this correct? Let us see what The Peruvian Teacher says ....
Recently, I'm a little apart from Krishna consciousness because I observed situations that I didn't like or dissapointed me. However, I don't feel bad, because I know I'm in my process. I have a lot of working on myself... and it may take me lives working on it. But the best thing is that I've recognized and started it.
My last reflection is that I believe and I really feel with all my being that everybody has a dharma or a purpose in his/her life. I am happy to realize this and that my realization is not because of fanaticism or simply because "it should be like this". I experienced on myself that Krishna or God or the Universe really gives you clues on what you should do to follow your way in order to achieve the purpose of your life. If you understand this, you won't feel anxiety neither frustration.
That's all for now! I will continue with my process of introspection in the next months.
Happy Janmastami!
Rukmini dd
HpS - We hope you can chant 16 nice introspective rounds and follow the four principles to give clarity for the introspection. You only take birth in Peru if you were intested in introspection (and potatos) in previous life.
You think you weren't a Monk in you last life???