Dear Guru Maharaja:
Please accept my humble obeisances
All glories to Srila Prabhupada
I hope you are very well, I am always praying for your health and well-being.
I suppose this is a kind of report ... I wanted to tell you that at the beginning of the year I quit my job, it was a decision that took me many years, anxiety, life in general, I went through many mental stages. I have been living in the temple for more than two and a half years, one year as a pujari and this made me feel the desire to attend to the deities more often, when I worked I only had time to do it once a week and it seemed little to me.
Also, I always disliked my work, it was very stressful, I mentioned it to you once.
Anyway, I was distressed by the idea of living without money, for many years I had a salary every month, this would be a great change. I was saving for a long time to be able to go to the Holy Dham, with the economy of this country it seems impossible, I thought ... "if I work one more year maybe I will succeed", somehow I kept making excuses.
Maha Vishnu Swami was visiting the temple, he was giving Srimad Bhagavatam class and he said: Krsna is your best friend, why are you afraid? There is no reason to be afraid, he is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. I felt that Krsna was speaking to me through him ... I usually pray a lot for answers, signs, instructions and for me this was quite clear. That day I decided that I was going to quit my job because Krsna will take care of me even if I am afraid.
I grew up in a very poor family and many times I lacked things, I was also afraid of that.
But in truth I lack nothing, I have everything I need to maintain my body. The time I used to spend making money now I use to serve Krsna, although I realize that what I give to Krsna is very little compared to what I keep for myself, I feel like a thief.
Then came another test, being in the temple day after day without being able to leave because of the quarantine. This temple is austere, very hot in summer, very cold in winter, in summer it is full of roaches, in winter rats, prasadam is sometimes very very simple, living with devotees is not easy either, I remember you saying that managing in iskcon is like shepherding cats and every day I understand it more, even without having an administrative position. Much physical, mental austerity in the midst of a pandemic. I started to feel very bad physically, mentally and spiritually because I felt that my thoughts about the devotees were offensive, my rounds were neither good nor enthusiastic, so I went to my parents' house with the idea of not coming back, I was sad and angry , "I left my house, I left my job, now I have nothing." Thanks to you I have FMP in Gotomeeting and classes every day, that helped me a lot when I was at my parents' house, I felt very lonely without the devotees. My parents are very good, they love me, but there is so much that I cannot share with them even if I try. So after a month and a half of being there I decided to go back to the temple, I really missed my service as a pujari and have someone to sing with.
Austerities are the same as always but I accept them in a different way, once I heard you say that this life is not to be happy, it is to perform austerities, you also said that we have to function on two levels, making friends with devotees and being functional for Iskcon. I am accepting these austerities so that I can serve Iskcon, Srila Prabhupada and your instructions.
HpS - This is not a back system. Some time in the Temple and then some time with your parents. Back and forth.. Others can follow your path.
Krsna is reciprocating, He is giving me the sweetest experiences inside the altar. Once Lord Gauranga gave me a look that I will never forget. I am always thinking of Sri Sri Gaura Nitai, I can see their faces in great detail in my mind. They are so merciful to me.
HpS - Yes, it is frightening! What will They do [email protected]!!!
The time I left the temple I stopped preaching ... recently I went back to give class by Zoom, it was very good for me because I felt that happiness again, the happiness of speaking about Krsna and being listened carefully. I plan to prepare another class, any suggestions about the topic?
HpS - What is this material world. What is the soul. What is the super soul. (Your personal dealings with Krsna and S.P. and..)
One last thing to tell, important, a friend who is living in the Zurich temple introduced me to Philip, he also lives there. This friend said that we could get along and created a WhatsApp chat to introduce eachother. Philip and me are making plans so that we can spend our lives together serving Krsna ... even though he and me are on different continents.
HpS - Do what you must do!!! 😎
Romeo and Juliet???
He is a serious and responsible devotee, I think he will take good care of me and the family that we want to have.
Was Kunti happy?
Gandhari, Radha, Darupadi, Juliet, Josephine? 😎 😎 😎
Are you going to be happy??
Were they SUCCESSFUL?? Are you going to be SUCCESSFUL?
Rose of the East
ASA - Thank you! Melons of the Jungle.