Internal change

3 years, 4 months ago by brian tellez in Personal Sadhana Reports

We have not been able to answer this letter because of our work shedule and because of our stupidity. Please send again following the protocol at www.JayaRama.US/kd/lte.htm HpS - ASA -0-0-0- No hemos podido responder esta carta por nuestra horario de trabajo y por nuestra estupidez. Por favor envíe nuevamente siguiendo el protocolo en www.JayaRama.US/kd/lte.htm HpS - ASA

Dear Guru Maharaja: 😍

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada pamho

I write to you from Iskcon Vrndavan, passing a very beautiful quarantine full of incredible services to the deities, to the samaddhi of Srila Prabhupada, to the Deities of Aindrema Prabhu, Im taking care of the Tulasi that was planted by Aindra Pabhu and do service in the house of Prabhupada changing Srila Prabhupada and the bed where I leave the body, seriously it has been an experience that I always dream of living in this temple, thanks for your blessings, Gurudeva lover, nothing is possible without your blessing.😷


 Gurudeva on the other hand 😔

I have had to suffer because in Mexico the devotee with whom I wanted to marry accuses me of having physically and morally abused her, I spoke with her GM Mahatma Prabhu and with my GBC Guruprasad Swami and accept everything she says ,

They made me write to her a letter. Devotees have made very strong comments to me, but they do not really tell me what I am accused of. I feel bad, Gurudeva, who due to my immaturity has caused so much damage to that mother and the others with whom I have tried to associate, I am very confused and Disappointed of myself, in Vrndavan all offenses are paid and I feel that internally I am in a very existential crisis, to make other people suffer is something that really makes me feel very bad, and I see that I only make great souls suffer that Krsna sends for me, seriously they have been incredible mothers Gurudeva, but Mahatma Prabhu says that I am very immature and I must prepare myself, I do not know how to carry this, I cannot apologize or repair it, now I cannot even go to Mexico to show my face and Apologize, I don't know how to fix the mistakes of my past, Gurudeva is tormenting me, please instruct me on what to do in this situation? I just want to disappear from everyone and leave the preaching, remain devoted and serve yous,

I don't know Gurudeva I feel very confused

 Thank you for listening to me, you are always in my heart, although I am unable to be your disciple, I dream of being one but I cannot escape these material desires, it is already lust, please instruct me on how to continue my spiritual path, I do not want to give up, I know that this is one more proof and Mr. Gauranga and Nityananda have me by their hand. 

his would-be servant Vrajendra Kumara Das