Dear Guru Maharaj,
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Dear Maharaj, this last weekend I got married to my wife Pooja in India and wanted to take your blessings for my married life.
HpS - AgtSP! You got married to your fiancé. Now she is blessed to be your wife!
I have entered grhastha-ashram, but realized that I was not well prepared for it. I have made so many mistakes already that I feel overwhelmed. I realized how important it was to plan and prepare for it with guidance from guru, sadhus like parents, Vaishnavas, scriptures, etc. Most importantly I feel I am stuck in a self-made prison made up of my own ego, or created by my own ego. I realized that happiness is not in showing off. I feel empty inside. I remember feeling much more satisfied and content when I had done kirtan. I really miss doing kirtan with devotees. I sometimes wish I had gotten a job in a city where there were more devotees, where I could attend kirtan programs, and build friendships with devotees. I feel very disconnected and the reason is my being so self-involved. I really need to work on my spiritual life, get more deeply connected with Lord Krishna, devotees, and devotional service. That is how I can get out of this lethargy. I want to improve on my mistakes and spend more time on improving myself. I need to cover up on lost rounds because of spending all my energy on getting the marriage done. I have a lot of improvement to do. I pray for your mercy and will start work on improving my spiritual life.
Kind of feeling lost,
Your no-good aspiring servant,
Aja Govinda dasa
HpS - Only a devotee feels lost. A fool thinks he knows everything but just adds more and more suffering to his life.
If you feel that way then what to speak of your dear wife. Her life hangs on yours. Sir together ready day and do Kirtan. It will harmonize everything. Then the next step?
See you on Houston?