Hare Krishna Gurumaharaj,
Please accept my respectful obeisance to you
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!
Thank you for your encouraging and kind reply to my previous message. As all your well wishing, I also pray the Lordships, Srimati Radharani and Nitai Gouranga for your wellbeing. This is an attempt to follow your instruction and please you. which at the end it is my own pleasure, because the act to think of you, to talk while we write you fills my heart of happiness and peace, smiling while we do so. Thank you, Sir. 🙏
HpS - AGTSP!! Paoho. It is very nice for me, all of us to hear from you. Our correspondent from the Land Down Under.
It is about 15 months since I moved to Melbourne temple, still i am trying to fit in and develop good relationships with devotees. This has been a challenging experience at different levels, learning and adapting to the system here. Part of my time goes in doing menial services (humility) dasa dasa anudasa. Low profile devotee, safe(?); but my heart is unsatisfied. At the end of the day i wonder if this is the way how Krishna wants me to serve. I do some Deity worship service; dressing the Lordship is like breathing for me. It gives me life, energy, inspiration. By Guru and Krishna's mercy my service is not to bad. Many devotees like it; but some do not; they express some negative emotions and constrain my service sometimes. Perhaps, there is a need of more purity in my service (?); results of my pass misdeed (?); Krishna's arrangement for my purification(?). I have had some encounters with conflicts (petty) that i did not forseeing, look for; they are more frequent than ever before. Even once a devotee (senior) shouted at me, with a lot of anger, his words were very hurting and insulting. He acused me of somethig that i had nothing to do with; but, after one hour, he came back and apologised. I have to do service under the directions of a senior lady devotee, who has a lot of accomplishment as a very dedicated devotee for decades and she is very much respected and appreciated for it. At the same time, the bulling, controling and caring tendencies are manifested in her dealings, that hurts many devotees and myself. I am not openly confronting her but avoiding her. She is my authority and she is not happy with me. I would like to have a loving relationship with her, but i am finding it hard. To my understanding many devotees have some personality disfunctions (issues), due to traumas, low self-esteem; prejudices, insecurities - defense mechanism in their dealings with devotees. Mental suffering that it is inflicted upon themselves and others.
In a SB class, (4.21.44) Pritu Maharaj instructions, enlighting vaisnava dealings. The speaker emphasised on Bhakti culture among devotees. There is no need of herculias achievements, nor setting higher standards every time, nor competition,.. it is okay to be a humble, low profile devotee, who can be a stepping stone for others to climb up in their service performance.
HpS - 😀
That can take you back to Godhead, thus, no jelousy, envy, competition.. rather helping others to success. ummmh!!! That was quite encouraging, inspiring, a relief.
Urmila mataji was here, she conducted some educational seminars for parents, teachers and children. It was a good opportunity for identifying some limitations, weaknesses on the education programs here in the community. Some notorious misconceptions were identified enhancing a broader understanding and perspective of Krishna Consciousness and Varna and ashram in daily life, practical application in the process of analysis of oneself and children's natural tendencies (kind of contemporary approach - presentation), equating the value of each varna, functionality of each ashram, sort of short psychological personality test as aids (interesting). At the same time, Janananda Goswami was here as well as Bhanu Swami. Wow!! each one is unique in their presentation and experience of Krishna Consciousness, unique approach to specific aspect of daily practice of KC. We got the chance to serve them, a great opportunity for purification of the heart (sadhu sanga - seva), learning, Spiritual nourishment and shelter. Thank you Krishna!!! thank you Srila Prabhupada!!, thank you Gurumaharaj!! Thank you devotees !!!😊
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HpS - I guess me and everyone in this Sanga can relate to what you are saying. We see devotees that have very destructive attitudes in personal relations. They look for victims. Maybe to get revenge for some pain caused by another in another life or childhood trauma. They may have political power or no political power. Their disease acts out differently if they have power or no power. In any case, if I am tight with Krsna and Srila Prabhupada, then I feel satisfaction and then I can look at everyone as object of my service. I have something to give. How can I help them. Their anger is not directed toward me. They don't really see me. How can I help them to get into the mode of goodness just enough to advance in devotional service.
Thank you so much for you letter!!!
Let us look at a few more letters and then we will write the DTC for everyone. Let's go!