Hare Krsna Gurudeva,
Please accept our humble obeisances
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Holidays arrived, my enthusiasm is renewed! I don't know exactly why the time in the institute takes so much energy from me. My mind becomes more cripple, one aspect is that little by little I become more worried by social dealings, and this makes me little anxious or insecure. But fortunatly there is holiday to associate more with devotees, and to forget everything about other living entities!!

Sankirtan is a very good opportunity to associate with everybody in Krsna Conciousness. Some time I did sankirtan on my institute, because I was returning from sankirtan with the books in my hands and many students ask me what it was, and then I could distribute some more books.

The time studying is little hard for me, I become more mental, but at the same time I could appreciate and learn some things: I learn to appreciate that is nice to learn new things and I can use them to do new services (m. Murti said some time to my brother that he should love his school because is Krsna who gives him this learning, so I also tried to appreciate this point, to love everything Krsna gives you in a broader sense that only things related to the temple and devotees). I also could see how conditioned I am, because I cannot refrain to be false ego and try to be a "good devotee", but it was healthy to see that I am attracted or concerned with so many stupid things from the material world, and is only by Krsna's mercy that I am trying to be devotee, and I can be attracted by Him, and therefore many times I feel protected by Krsna.

So this end of the year I can see I am not very good devotee, but I am at least I am aspirant devotee and that is great! I see I am not so good devotee as I would like (false egooo), but also that I am learning  and making some progress by Guru's and Krsna's mercy. I am understanding little by little some things of our philosophy in a more practical way (less impersonal), that gives me faith that with time things will become more and more clear. Sometimes I am sad to see how fallen I am, and at the same time I think is at least is a good point to know I am conditioned, and that I have to improve, and even more fortunate that I have the best path very close to me.

Thank you Gurudev for you patience and association, I hope my attempt to understand things in Krsna conciousness is ok, not too much speculation...
(I will send my report of the year before the 24th! I didn't forget)

Hare Krsna,
b.Natalia

P.S: Gurudev, I am not talking with Gopa, only two times this last months, to know about each other. Our situation (separation) seems now clear for both. Our talks are because we are concerned about the welfare of the other.

HpS - AGTSP   paoho.  Your situation is just like ours. We have to deal with so many things. The early Japa together is super essential. Then doing our Sandhyas, chanting more rounds morning, noon and evening and reading, studying and writing! Our main concern in Grhastha Ashrama or any Ashrama is that we want to help others, not exploit them. Then all kinds of wonderful things can happen, no?