I'm afraid that my japa is still cut, a thousand excuses not get it to be continuous, uncut.
Varuna normal, barely see, and Virginia only cause me problems, you may need to be a long time without seeing Varuna and the truth is that scares me a little because I am very difficult to control my mind in that situation, but I learning to have a more global vision, or so I would like.
They really need my japa is continuing to be well, I know very well, and I wish you much, but I can not.
My mind makes problems eat my day, my steps, plans and the truth, I'm trying to break a stone wall, fought with everything and just look away all that is around me. I do not think that is bad, but it affects me.
My brother needs my help on the ground at 100 km W of farm madrid, Varuna need me and I him, and I can not end under any order to do my duty well, not even sure I can see Varuna 4 days a month.
I would love to take refuge in ISKCON but I can not leave my brother alone in the ground with everything he has done only by the best and highest intentions. I can not leave Varuna, and all my efforts can not solve the problems.
Yadunanda Swami said one thing that will stay with me "acts as if everything depended on you, knowing that everything depends on Krsna" ... When you throw in the towel?.
I feel betrayed Krsna not protecting me, but how can I abandon my immediate obligations?, What example would give?, How to live with myself not knowing if I did the maximum I could? ... That Krsna forgive me so I will say, I find myself unable to leave anyone, least of Varuna, so helpless. I am young, crazy, arrogant and immature, but Krsna is Almighty, He knows everything, He knows many things. He knows how I am and know I'm crazy for running to his arms, but, how can I live with my faults, my situation, my duties and my divine natural duties ?
Karma says Varuna will not learn anything from me, but he will feel admiration for me and surely will be so, but I will do what I have to do, until Providence oblige me to be somewhere else.
Is it wrong to act like this?
Maharaja forgive me if it has been long, I needed to express myself.
I see you everywhere, thanks.

Thanks you very much.

<SCRIPT>var ctr, h;tld='.es';sug_lab='';sug_thk='';sug_exp='';dhead='Diccionario';dmore='Ver diccionario detallado';tr_in='Traduciendo...';isurl='';show_roman='Leer fonéticamente';hide_roman='Leer fonéticamente';t13n_label='Permitir escritura fonética';t13n_example='Ejemplo: escribe \x22%1$s\x22 y pulsa un espacio para \x22%2$s\x22.';t13n_tooltip='';msg_enable_otf='Activar traducción instantánea';msg_disable_otf='Desactivar traducción instantánea';url_hyperlink_tooltip='Consulta la página web traducida';related_phrases_title='';detect_language='Detectar idioma';source_language_detected='%1$s - detectado';soft_sell_mode='none';TRANSLATED_TEXT='I\x26#39;m afraid that my japa is still cut, a thousand excuses not get it to be continuous, uncut.\r\x3cbr\x3eVaruna normal, barely see, and Virginia only cause me problems, you may need to be a long time without seeing Varuna and the truth is that scares me a little because I am very difficult to control my mind in that situation, but I learning to have a more global vision, or so I would like.\r\x3cbr\x3eThey really need my japa is continuing to be well, I know very well, and I wish you much, but I can not.\r\x3cbr\x3eMy mind makes problems the day I eat, my steps, plans and the truth, I\x26#39;m trying to break a stone wall, fought with everything and just look away all that is around me. I do not think that is bad, but it affects me.\r\x3cbr\x3eMy brother needs my help on the ground at 100 km W of farm madrid, Varuna need me and I him, and I can not end under any order to do my duty well, not even sure I can see Varuna 4 days a month.\r\x3cbr\x3eI would love to take refuge in ISKCON but I can not leave my brother alone in the ground with everything he has done only by the best and highest intentions. I can not leave Varuna, and all my efforts can not solve the problems.\r\x3cbr\x3eYadunanda Swami said one thing that will stay with me \x26quot;acts as if everything depended on you, knowing that everything depends on Krsna\x26quot; ... When you throw in the towel?.\r\x3cbr\x3eKrsna I feel betrayed not protecting me, but how can I abandon my immediate obligations?, What example would give?, How to live with myself not knowing if I did the maximum I could? ... That Krsna so forgive me I say, I find myself unable to leave anyone, least of Varuna, so helpless. I am young, crazy, arrogant and immature, but Krsna is Almighty, He knows everything, He knows many things. 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