Hare Krsna
Please accept our humble obeisances
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Gurudeva, I am happy to read this blog. It is very nice to have your association through the blog, and to know you are in the beautiful Dham.

Gurudeva I am still too much in maya, my mind is not very much focus on the priorities.

My 16 rounds are surviving; I wish to be very sincere, because Krsna can see everything, I feel I am not taking care properly of my bhakti creaper. It is very unfair because I have many facilities. I am very ashamed, and I am sorry to not being a good devotee, and aspirant disciple.

But I wish to really change my heart one day, so I would like to be very sincere, and better ask for help, because I need it. I am not feeling good with myself in some ways (my offenses with Gopa). But at the same time my hope is to learn of all my mistakes to build some stronger understanding about myself, about my duties.

Gurudeva, I respect you so much, so I would like to inform you that I am not very enthuciastic these months. I am some times more inclined to my duty with my studies than with my spiritual practice. But this is not something I like, is only a sad tendency I am not correcting.

I think I would like to be living with devotees, to have a good sadhana, and forget everything else. In a practical way I can also appreciate that I like (not too too much, but is nice) what I am doing (the graphic design), but without Krsna there is no sense for anything!! So I hope my plan to go with devotees next year will save me of myself.

Gurudeva, I don’t have the good quality to balance my duties in the material world and my spiritual life. If I feel that I will not please you, and I will not be your initiated disciple, this will help me to become more serious. Excuse me…

Hare Krsna

Your aspirant servant,

b.Natalia

HpS - ASA - AGTSP   pamho   I have the same problems but little different after trying to follow the process and Acharya for 20 years.  Even Srila Prabhupada was complaining about his efforts. Even Srimati Radharani was complaining.   Just get up early and get your rounds done (with proper meaning)!   Focus on that and we will wait for the next report!