hare krsna maharaj

its has been over 5 yrs i have been associated with KC movement. i think i have quote good analytical/ philosophical understanding. I am not yet intiated. I am stricly following 3 rules and rules of illicit sex is dwindling. My rounds are fixed 16 over a long  period of itme. my mornin program has just got better in last few months.  My prasadam taking is very poor. My association iw very weak as i dont have like minded people ( varna- asrama)  with me.

My family members are nuetral though some times  opposite .

from student life. i never wanted to earn money or earn good grades. but wanted to know new relevant concepts. therefore its very difficult for me to just work for money. even though i am married.

in five years i have been able to see changes in my thinking the way i see the world. my prespective

however behaviour wise i dont find change in myself ? frankly i am not feeling the bliss or even happpiness i am supposed to fill. there is sense of dissatisfaction all the times in me.

I beg  you to identify faults/ problems with me..

HpS - ASA -  Jaya!   Hare Krsna!      Well, one thing is that everybody is different. Srila Prabhupada accepted Srila Bhaktisiddhanta in his heart as his Guru at their first meeting but it was 11 years later, no, before he took formal initiation.

One ISKCON Sannyasi told me that he was attached to smoking and anger when he met Srila Prabhupada.  The smoking habit left quickly, but after 20-years he still had problem controling his anger.

Some attachments are deep, others shallow. Some people are making progress from previous lives, some are just starting this life.

So, we really have to be very personal in judging our progress in one aspect.

That you are still here is BIG result.  Not convinced that success comes from mental speculation or possessions.

Of course, until we can follow the 4-principles strictly it like trying to start a fire while pouring water on it.   However, there is always some result from chanting.

So, I think you are doing pretty well. I think you have accelerated a lot in the last year, no?

Do you offer everything to Krsna before you take?   Do you strictly avoid grains cooked by Karmis????